


Double Date

by just_a_loser



Category: Teamiplier - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Platonic Crankiplier, basically goofiness as Mark and Ethan pretend to date, eventual amyplier, eventual crankiplier, eventual ethamyplier, i can't control myself, ship them all i say, while Mark is in love with Amy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-19 10:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13702182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_a_loser/pseuds/just_a_loser
Summary: Amy invites Mark on a double date. Mark doesn't realize he's supposed to bring someone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little late to the Valentine's train. Whelp, here ya go.

"Are you busy on Valentine's day?"

  
Mark raised an eyebrow at Amy. "No..?"

  
"Would you want to go on a double date?"

  
"Ah, sure." Mark made sure to keep his expression neutral, trying to hide his enthusiasm.

  
"Great! I'll send you the details tomorrow," Amy said, packing up her things to leave.

  
"Sounds good!" Mark gave her a quick hug before showing her to the door. Once he heard her footsteps recede, he let out a cry of victory. Amy had actually asked him out!

  
...

  
Mark practically lunged for his phone as it started ringing. "Hello?"

  
"Heyy! You're still on for tomorrow, right?"

  
"Absolutely!" Mark couldn't help but smile.

  
Amy went on to give him a time and a place. "So... do I know her?"

  
"Know who?"

  
"Your date for tomorrow."

  
Oh. Oh shit. Mark felt his heart plummet. When Amy had asked if he was up for a double date, he had assumed he was _her_ date. Shit, he had completely misread the situation. Mark felt his cheeks burn as his mind rushed through his options. "I-uh... you'll just have to wait and see for yourself." He figured it was best to give the vaguest response possible before he knew what he was going to do.

  
"Aww."

  
"Do I know your guy?" Mark put in extra effort to keep his voice steady.

  
"I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow." Mark could hear the smile in her voice.

  
"Haha, very funny. I guess I will. Whelp, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye."

  
"Bye!"

  
Mark dropped the phone beside him, closing his eyes and giving a hefty sigh. What was he going to do? He ran through his options in his mind. He didn't have any girl friends aside from Amy and Kathryn. He couldn't ask Kathryn, as she and Amy were so close that had they been dating, Amy would already know. And he couldn't exactly ask a stranger.

  
Mark groaned. He'd thought of something. It wasn't a great something, but it was something.

  
He picked his phone off the couch, scrolling through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for. "Tyler?"

  
"Yeah?"

  
"Could I ask you to do me a huuge favor?"

  
"Uh, sure. What?"

  
"Couldyougoonadatewithme?"

  
Tyler didn't respond immediately. "Mark, you're a great friend, but I don't feel that way ab-"

  
"No, no, no," Mark interrupted quickly. "It's not like that."

  
"Then what is it?"

  
"I-" Mark blushed, embarrassed to explain his predicament. "I kind of told Amy I'd go on a double date, and I was under the impression that I was going to be her date..."

  
"Ohhhh." Mark hated his sympathetic tone. "I-uh...first off, Amy wouldn't believe we were dating."

  
"But-"

  
"And second off," Tyler interrupted. "I'm not okay with going on a fake date with you! Or anyone! Sorry man, but I can't help you here."

  
Mark sighed. He should've known Tyler wouldn't be okay with lying like that. "It's fine, I understand. I'll just have to find someone else, I guess."

  
"Good luck with that."

  
Mark groaned louder than before, slouching heavily back into the couch. He had one last option. He prayed it worked out, or else he was in for an extremely embarrassing situation the next day.

  
He picked up his phone once more, steeling himself for another awkward conversation. "Ethan?"

  
"Yea?"

  
"This is going to sound really weird-"

  
"You always sound weird."

  
"Let me finish!" Mark's tone came out sterner than he had intended.

  
"Geez, okay!"

  
"Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

  
"Now you're rubbing it in that I'm single? Nice."

  
Mark rolled his eyes. "Dude," he said, exasperated.

  
"If we're being serious here, no, I don't have plans. I'm a lonely boy."

  
"Well, how would you like to accompany me for the evening?"

  
Ethan was silent for a moment. "I don't understand what's happening here."

  
Mark hastily explained his situation.

  
"Ah. In that case, it would be an honor to go out with _the_  Markiplier."

  
Mark bit his tongue, not wanting to say anything to change his mind. "So that's a yes then?"

  
"I expect to be picked up by a horse drawn carriage, and to be given a single rose to signify your undying love for me."

  
Mark rolled his eyes once more. "I'll pick you up at eight. In my _car_. And my company should be gift enough. Plus I'll pay for your food."

  
"Ah, what a gentleman. See you tomorrow, my prince."

  
Mark hung up the phone. He was relieved he had found someone to save him from his embarrassment, but would Amy buy it?

  
...

  
Mark rapped on Ethan's apartment door, heart racing. He fidgeted with the collar of his shirt as he stood there waiting. What was taking him so long? Mark knocked again, growing impatient.

  
"Hold on, I'm coming!" Ethan threw open the door, revealing that he was only in his underwear.

  
"What the fuck?"

  
"I'm sorry! I don't know what to wear! I've been digging through my closet for the last twenty minutes but you never said if it was a formal thing or what!"

  
"Well you should have asked!" Mark noticed a woman standing a few doors over giving them a strange look as she unlocked her door. "Just-" Mark pushed his way in, closing the door. "Let me see what you have." He marched into Ethan's bedroom, looking at the pile of clothes sitting on the bed. "Uh...here." He threw a plain gray button up shirt at the nearly naked man. "And...these." He tossed him a pair of black jeans, which he hastily slipped on.

  
"Shoes?"

  
"Have you never dressed yourself before? It doesn't matter, just hurry up. We need to be there in ten minutes."

  
"What's got your panties in a twist?" Ethan said, sitting on the corner of the bed to tie his shoes. "Nervous about seeing Amy with another man?"

  
Mark didn't respond, simply checking his phone.

  
"How do you think she'll feel about seeing _you_  with another man?"

  
"I don't have _time_  for this," Mark groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Are you done yet?"

  
"Yeah, let's go!"

  
They didn't speak again until they were in the car. "So, what's our story? We've secretly been dating for months, and are finally ready to reveal our burning love for one another?"

  
Mark didn't acknowledge his words.

  
"Or _maybe_  I'm only going on a date with you to make someone else jealous, hmm?" Ethan gasped. "Plot twist, that person is Tyler! But you've already fallen in love with me and I can't bear to break your heart! The perfect love triangle!"

  
"Sorry to interrupt your fantasies, but we're here."

  
"But we need to get our story straight." Ethan snorted. "More like get our story _gay,_  am I right?" He nudged Mark with his elbow.

  
"Just go along with whatever I say."

  
"You got it, babe."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The double date...

It seemed that Mark and Ethan had arrived first. They got a table, Mark anxiously unfolding and refolding his napkin.

“Calm down,” Ethan said, placing a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Mark breathed out heavily, setting his napkin back down onto the table.

“Looks like they’re here,” Ethan murmured.

Mark looked up, and sure enough, Amy was walking towards them with a man he had never seen before. She was talking to him and hadn’t looked their way yet. As she did, Mark could see the look of confusion that flashed across her face. “..Oh! Hi, guys.”

Mark felt his face flush with heat. “Hey.” He forced a smile.

Amy looked at a loss for words. “Um…oh, this is Michael.”

After stiff introductions were made, the group settled in, awkward tension weighing heavily at the table. It was Amy that finally broke the silence. “I didn’t expect…” She glanced back and forth between Mark and his date.

 _Neither did I_ , Mark wanted to say. “I…I was nervous about telling you.” He could feel the sweat gathering at his brow.

“Ah. So how long have you two…how long has this been going on?” She still looked perplexed.

“It’s pretty new.” What an understatement. “What about Michael, here? How come I’ve never heard of him?” He was eager to change the subject and wanted to know more about this _Michael_ guy.

“It’s pretty new too. We’ve been going out for..?” She looked at the man.

“About a month,” he supplied.

“Yeah. Plus I didn’t want to scare him off,” she teased.

“We’re not that bad,” Ethan said. “We’re nothing to be embarrassed about.” He took a sip of his water, choosing this moment to choke on it.

Mark stifled a smile, hitting his friend on the back lightly. “You okay?”

“Fine,” Ethan managed to get out, breathing a bit heavy.

Mark glanced over at Amy’s date. He looked about as uncomfortable as Mark was feeling.

Just then the waiter swooped by to take their orders. As he left, the table settled back into silence.

“So, Michael, what do you do?” Ethan asked.

“I work in IT,” he said simply, not bothering to expand upon that further. “What about you guys?”

“We both do the same thing,” Ethan responded, a slight blush rising to his cheeks. Mark knew the feeling: he was always nervous about telling people what his job was.

“Which is?” Michael said, raising an eyebrow.

“Online entertainment,” Mark supplied. This is how he normally answered the question nowadays, knowing the impression people got when he said ‘youtube’.

“Oh.” Michael had an unpleasant look on his face.

“They do Youtube,” Amy clarified.

“Ah.” His expression hadn’t changed.

The waiter came to the rescue once more, bringing their food to them. At least now the silence could be excused by them eating.

“How did you two meet?” Mark was desperate to make this less awkward.

“In a coffee shop. Not much to tell.” Mark was starting to get sick of this guy’s sour attitude. “You?”

“We’ve been friends for a few years.” Ethan skirted around the question, not really wanting to get into it.

Michael nodded his head, looking back down to his plate, letting the conversation die.

They finished their food rather quickly, as there wasn’t conversation to slow them down. The waiter dropped by once more. “Would you like a dessert menu?”

“No, I think we’re done here,” Michael responded. “Just the check.”

Mark struggled to keep his expression neutral. What was this guy’s problem? Mark glanced at Ethan, who had his eyes narrowed at the man. Mark kicked his foot lightly, giving him a warning look. _Stay civil_ , the look conveyed. Ethan sighed, moving his glance around the room.

Finally, the waiter returned with the check. “I’ve got it,” Michael said.

“Oh, no, I insist I pay for our half,” Mark said, pulling out his wallet.

“Fine, whatever.” Michael shoved some cash in before handing the check holder over to Mark. As he grabbed it, his fingers accidentally brushed over the other man’s. Michael practically recoiled from the touch, and he hastily pulled his arm back. Mark put in enough money to cover their meals, biting his tongue.

“Are we ready to go?” The others murmured in agreement, walking outside.

“I’ll be in the car,” Michael said to Amy, as they had stopped walking.

Amy watched as her date marched to his car, looking troubled. “I’m sorry, he’s not usually like that.”

“It’s fine,” Mark said, plastering a fake smile on his face.

“If I’m being completely honest, I invited you guys because I was a bit nervous about coming here alone with him. He asked me out, and I didn’t want to say no, but I didn’t not want to say no, and…sorry, just, thanks for coming out with us.”

“No problem. The food was good,” Ethan supplied, giving Amy a half smile.

Amy smiled back. “So, I guess I’m gonna have to get used to seeing you two be all lovey-dovey now.”

Mark put his arm around Ethan’s shoulders, remembering they were supposed to be dating. “Yup.”

“Alright, you guys have a good night.”

“You too!” Ethan said.

“Bye.”

They watched as Amy walked over to Michael’s car. They continued standing there until they had left. “She’s dating a dick.”

“Can we at least go to your car before we start this? It’s cold.”

They walked over to the car, Mark’s arm still around Ethan, neither bothered by it. They got into the car, Mark starting it for the heater.

“I mean, he wasn’t great, but are you sure you’re not just jealous?”

“I’m not jealous!” Ethan gave him a look. “That’s not the point. The point is, he’s an absolute dick.”

“He did have that “better than you’ attitude.”

“Dude…did you- did you not notice the homophobia? He literally flinched when our hands touched.”

“Eh, I’m used to it.”

Mark gave Ethan a sideways look. “Are you saying you’re gay?”

Ethan hesitated. “I’m not saying I’m gay. I have dated a few guys, though.”

“Oh.” Mark’s eyes widened. “Not ‘oh’ in a bad way!” he hastily said. “Oh as in oh, I didn’t know that!”

Ethan chuckled. “It’s fine, I know what you meant. So…are we just going to sit here the rest of the night?”

“Do you want to hang out?”

Ethan grinned. “Two bros. Hanging out on Valentine’s day. Just bein’ bros.”

Mark blushed. “Shut up, you dork.”

“Sure. It’s not like I have other plans.”

Mark gasped dramatically. “Is that any way to speak to your date?”

“My date that didn’t get me anything? On Valentine’s day, nonetheless?”

The pair stared into each other’s eyes before bursting out into a fit of giggles. “I’ll tell you what. We’ll raid a Walgreens for leftover candy on the way to your place.”

“Sounds good, _darling_.”

Mark fake retched. “Don’t ever call me that again.

“Whatever you say, honey.”

Mark rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay........this might end up being ethamyplier......i wasn't intending for that to happen....but.............


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this doesn't have much substance, but I am happy to say that I know what direction I want this story to go

It was a few days later, and everyone was hanging out at Mark’s place. It was the first time they all were in one place since the infamous double date. Mark and Ethan were on the couch, sitting a respectable distance from each other. Mark caught a few glances thrown their way from both Kathryn and Tyler. No one had brought it up.

Amy and Kathryn began talking amongst themselves, leaving the guys on their own. Tyler sat on the other side of Ethan, giving the pair side glances. “What?” Mark finally asked, not fully wanting an answer.

“Nothing,” Tyler said, in a hushed voice. “Aren’t you two supposed to be a couple, or whatever?”

Mark opened his mouth to respond, and closed it once more, not knowing how to respond. Ethan, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow at Tyler.

“Yeah, I know about you guys’ little charade. He did ask me first.”

Ethan whipped his head to look at Mark, putting a hand over his chest. “I wasn’t your first choice? How dare you!” he said dramatically. He was over the top about it, but in reality, he was slightly disappointed.

Mark glared at Tyler. “Now look what you’ve done.” He put an arm around Ethan’s waist, pulling him towards him. “Don’t listen to him, sugar pants.”

Tyler snorted, and Ethan burst out laughing.

“Something funny over there?” The girls were looking at them, amused.

Ethan had doubled over, struggling to regain his composure. “I-It’s nothing,” he said between breaths.

“If you say so,” Amy smiled. Mark could see a hint of suspicion in Kathryn’s lingering glance before she turned back to her conversation with Amy.

Ethan sat back up, wiping a non-existent tear from his eye. “Whoo,” he sighed, catching his breath. “ _Sugar pants_?”

Mark chuckled. “You got a kick outta that one.”

Tyler had returned to staring at them. “This is weird.”

“What, that your best friends are boyfriends now?” Ethan nudged his shoulder.

“It’d be less weird if that was actually what was going on,” Tyler said, crossing his arms.

Mark glanced over at the girls. “Drop it,” he said warningly. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“Fine,” Tyler said, exasperated.

…

Once the girls had left, Tyler spoke up. “So what’s your plan? Are you going to pretend to be a couple forever? Huh?” He had a judgmental tone in his voice.

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know what we’re gonna do,” Mark said, suddenly feeling guilty. He didn’t want to drag Ethan along for all of this just because he was an idiot.

“Well, you went on your date. Can’t you just say it didn’t work out?”

Mark sighed in frustration. “We can’t just go back to normal now. It’d be suspicious.”

“That’s because it is suspicious,” Tyler said, with a hint of sass. Ethan had shrunk down in his seat, not wanting to call attention to himself.

  
"Why are you so mad about this?" Mark said.  
  
"I'm not mad, I just hate lying to them like this."  
  
Mark rubbed his temple. "I know. I don't feel great about it either, and I'm sorry you got involved in any of this. I just don't want Amy to think.... We'll...we'll keep it up for another week or two, then end it. If you're okay with that," he added, looking at Ethan.  
  
"Oh, no, I'm cool with whatever. It's actually kinda fun," he said, flashing Mark a grin. Mark felt himself blush slightly.  
  
Tyler let out a deep breath. "I won't rat you guys out. Just don't ask me to get any more involved than I already am."  
  
"Of course. Thanks."  
  
"...so."  
  
"So what?" Ethan sat up straight, giving Tyler a questioning glance.  
  
"Have you guys kissed?"  
  
Ethan blushed, and Mark decided to answer. "Uh, don't you think that's a little _invasive_?" he said in return, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Prying into our personal lives like that?"  
  
"Yeah," Ethan chimed in. "That's none of your concern, _Tyler_."  
  
Tyler rolled his eyes. "Hey, I'm just asking. Amy might be skeptical if she never sees you guys kiss, I'm just saying..."  
  
"Okay. I think we're all tired. You two should probably get going." Mark was eager to end the conversation.  
  
"You're not going to ask your _boyfriend_ to stay over?"  
  
Mark and Ethan stared at their friend.  
  
"I may not be thrilled about the whole lying thing, but I have to admit, this is kind of hilarious. You two? Dating? It's pretty amusing."  
  
Ethan pursed his lips, while Mark waved the comment off. "I'm all worn out, you two should go." He stood up, obviously waiting for the others to do the same. They did, and he walked them to the door. "See you...whenever."  
  
"Goodnight," Tyler said giving the man a small wave.  
  
"Night," Ethan mumbled as Mark closed the door.  
  
He groaned, hiding his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into? He'd backed himself into a corner, into a commitment (even if it wasn't a real relationship) just because he couldn't face his crush! He hated that he'd dragged Ethan into it, but he didn't seem to mind. He'd even gone so far to say that it was fun, which helped ease Mark's conscience. And speaking of his crush, how was he going to deal with that? Amy had a boyfriend, and even if he was a dick, she was still dating him.  
  
"Ughhh, when did my life get so conplicated?" He whined, fully aware he'd brought it all upon himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more of a serious chapter, but I will work on delivering some more goofs and gaffes in the coming chapters

**Author's Note:**

> Even when I write another ship, I can't help but put just a dash of crankiplier in there. Geez.
> 
> Shameless self promo: my tumblr is @just-a-fuckin-loser Send me some requests!


End file.
